Up your nose with a rubber hose, Mr. Horror!

Horror Teaches Us

Horror Teaches Us

It’s often quoted that, “We learn from our mistakes.”

While this quote is very true, no one ever asks WHY it’s true.

One guess.



Mistakes or failures often lead to Horrific situations.

Ever got you tie caught in the paper shredder and been unable to reach the power switch? If so I bet you only use office equipment naked now.

Hey, nice image. If you’re hot, feel free to send me some pics. You naughty fax machine, you.

Anyway, even if you’re still fully clothed; you still get that Horror learns us real good…right?

No? Okay. Let me draw you a picture.

The things Horror can teach us are limitless.

Don’t go down a dark alley alone at night.

Don’t leave a group while in the woods.

Don’t feed them after midnight.

Don’t use drugs (they’re some of the first to die is slasher movies after all).

On and on.



Sure it teaches us all those clichéd things. But what else? Some everyday things?


Have you ever forgotten to turn on your blinker before changing lanes; then at the last moment, you look as you begin to merge into the other lane only to spot a car in your way.

That heart fluttering moment as you jerk the steering wheel and swerve back into your lane is a moment of Horror that you hopefully learned a lesson from.

Our lives are filled with those butt-puckering moments. I call them Horror enemas. Most of us don’t receive the same enema twice.

But there are some people who make mistake after mistake and never learn a thing.

Show me that person and I’ll show you a person who doesn’t see Horror.

That’s why I’m here. Helping everyone to see the Horror in everything. I’m a good guy; a good guy doll if you will. Charles Edgar Lee Ray. Muhahaha!

But alas, some people you just can’t reach. If said knuckle-head doesn’t care if he gets killed by the lakeside strangler, then there is little you, I or Horror can do for him.

For example, think back on the most Horrific things of recent memory.

War, School Massacre, Housing Market Collapse, Tsunami, Hurricane….. Need I go on?

If those events touched you in any way, then I’m sure they taught you something.

More and more the message I get from Horror is, “Don’t take a second of life for granted.”

At any minute, a man with a machete and hockey mask could burst from around the corner and end all hopes and aspirations.

That “killer” could be a metaphor for a heart attack or an earthquake. But the type of killer matters little.

What does matter?

Well, that seems easy, what did you learn from Horror today?


~ by Charlie Edgar on January 24, 2012.

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